day 10 in ICU  – afternoon

My mother is dying.

I feel like it is a dream.

I am here.

Have been here for 10 days.

I knew it was serious.

A few days ago I even knew it was very fragile.

A day ago I knew it was critical.

I could see and understand what was happening.

Today I was reminded again that it is probable.

I know.

But I still get this feeling of shock over me every few hours.

I keep forgetting what it really means.

She is leaving.       No more phone calls.   No more late night stories.

Today it is real.