Day 8 in ICU

Today started out pretty much as the past.  We were greeted with the info that mom’s oxygen had dropped last night and they had raised her oxygen from 50 to 70. Even at 70 she was only showing levels at 93-95.

Today she seems agitated, restless.  She is exhausted.  Her communication is becoming harder because of the dryness of her mouth and her weakness.  Even though we moisten her mouth and give her water frequently.

Today would not show any progress in beating the infection.  The Doctors are dismayed with how bad it is.  They cannot figure out what the bacteria is. One says hang in there, just take it day to day, keep the faith.  The other says, it is not good and you need to decide what she would want.

What she would want?!?!?    She wants to get well!  She wants to get the infection under control and get well!  She wants to breathe on her on.  That is what she wants!

We hear talk about tubes, intubation, ventilation, life support.  All words we do not want to hear.

Why is this happening is all I can say.  How can we go from a normal day to this?

I cry, I pray, I get mad. I promise. I make many pleas and promises.

Please GOD, not this time, please.

I check in at 9pm, she is resting at level 97.  I hold on to that number and hope for the continued level through the night.