It’s been a while since I wrote.  At least here in my “official” blog.

That’s because I have been preoccupied with my alter self.  I titled this Mind Messages because I’ve decided that’s what happens to me when I am dealing with a depressive episode.

Yes, I have depression.  I’ve had it for most of my life.  Although it took me about 15 years to realize, understand, and accept it.  And no all of those things did not happen at once.  It was a process.

When I’m feeling normal, like right now, it is very hard to talk or write about it.  It’s as if “I don’t have time to waste on it” But I have come to realize that I need to talk about it to keep myself grounded.

So I will share with you the journey I’ve been on for the past 40 + years.  Wow 40, Forty,  4-0 that is definitely a life sentence.

So many people do not understand, accept or even want to discuss this disease.  Yes Disease.

Depression, Depressive Disorder, Clinical Depression is a Disease.

Dis – ease; Dis – to do the opposite or stop or disengage.

Ease; absence of difficult; freedom from labor, pain, physical annoyance, tranquil rest, comfort,   Freedom from concern, anxiety or solicitude; a quiet state mind. (

So this Disease would be described as:  to stop the comfort or freedom from concern, anxiety or solicitude (uneasiness of mind)

I will most likely write this in various order. I want to get down specific feelings and times of despair and build the story around it.